Most of us have internalized the idea that shaming, criticizing and self-punishing will motivate us to improve the things that we think are wrong with ourselves. It’s so automatic that we often don’t even realize that we’re doing it. But if this strategy worked, therapists would be obsolete, because it’s so common. And yet, this approach rarely inspires true change. So then what’s the alternative? Getting to know, accept and understand yourself in a deep and self-supportive way, so that you can get free from unhelpful beliefs and engage in actions that align with who you truly want to be, and the life you want to be living.