Society’s rigid rules produce trauma not only when we experience disaster, but also when denied the opportunity to develop our identities. Whether LGBTQ+, neurodiverse, racial minority, or living with trauma or disease, we stumble through the world, learning to anticipate constant challenge and new ways to be hurt. When others speak of fond memories, we recall the effort we put into masking through it. When memories are too painful, we try to forget them – but they stay with us, hiding below our conscious mind where they wreak havoc on our bodies, creating chronic pain, addiction, mental illness and disease. I am trained in trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT) and use dialectical behavior therapy, motivational interviewing, and other therapeutic modalities – but no matter the technique, the quality of the therapeutic relationship we create is what facilitates true healing. Something powerful happens when we learn to take things moment by moment – growth happens every session. Seeing these moments and amplifying them in our minds is the path through letting go of old, painful memory and seeing the good that has always been there. The world begins to transition from terrifying to challenging, then exciting and joyful.