I help high-achievers who struggle with anxiety, people-pleasing, codependency, and feel overly responsible for others' needs to the point of self-sacrifice. I also help adult children of narcissistic parents. My clients struggle as you do. Despite being kind, highly driven, and expert problem-solvers, life is hard. When they first come in, they are anxious and burned out from helping, fixing, caretaking, and peacekeeping. They’re acutely perceptive of others’ needs, but struggle to put themselves first. They usually feel overly responsible for others' feelings and needs, trying to control what is outside their control. They have abandoned themselves and grapple with the feeling that their only worth is in caretaking for others. They are exhausted from constantly walking on eggshells with others, worrying about what they say and do. They are paralyzed by self-criticism, perfectionism, and people-pleasing as they try to prove their self-worth and earn others’ love and approval. They feel they’ve lost themselves. All these years of self-sacrifice and making themselves small for others has left them wondering, “Who am I if I'm not taking care of everyone else?” Their desire to fix and hold everyone else’s pain gets in the way of the life they want in so many ways. They aren’t the kind of person they want to be. They feel like they’re failing as a partner, friend, and family member. And their confidence at work is tanking. Before they came to see me, they thought they could never say “no” and would go on doing everything for everyone while feeling empty inside. They worried they would never be the person they wanted to be. And they were pretty certain they would live with constant fear of never being “good enough.” Like my clients, you deserve to know that you are “enough” just as you are. Your worth is not predicated on caretaking for others. You want to step into the vibrant person you know you are and can be. Reclaiming yourself and discovering who you truly are is not out of your reach. If you want to stop feeling small and not feel terrified to be your authentic self, I’d love to help you get there.
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